Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The guy on the left definitely gets points for craftiness and for handing out appetizers

We're conflicted about this photo. The only official Bad Sweater in the group is the guy in the middle with the two-tone blue sweater, which apparently says "Busty" for some reason. The guy on the left definitely gets points for craftiness and for handing out appetizers. At first we were ready to dismiss the guy on the right, because that's not even a sweater. It's a poncho. But then we looked closer. It's not a poncho. It's a tree skirt! That makes Bad Sweater Guy SO happy.
 
Finally, we come to the winners. Our runner-up is on the right, wearing something he bought from the Highlights magazine fall fashion collection: Hey, kids. Can you find lips, a piano, a violin, a tuxedo, four bow ties, a harp...? The top winner of the night is on the left, wearing what we're told was a work of art dubbed "LEGO Santa." It wins points for equal parts fashion wrongness and creepiness. Why is Santa wearing blue? Clearly they had red yarn (to make the red stars, of course). Why does Santa's coat look like a bathrobe -- an OPEN bathrobe? Why doesn't he have a real face? Why does it look like he's going to stab me with that small tree?

Raye from Florida got her friends into the holiday spirit by Raye from Florida got her friends into the holiday spirit by holding a Bad Sweater Partyholding a Bad Sweater Party

Raye from Florida got her friends into the holiday spirit by holding a Bad Sweater Party. She even consulted Bad Sweater Guy ahead of time for some cool prize categories. I think you'll agree, pretty much everyone there was a winner.
First up, we have our hostess Raye on the right, holding the robot dog with the laser eyes. On the far left, her friend wears a sweater depicting some sort of mutant cat creature whose incontinence is captured in yarn. On her shoulder, it was going to be a beautiful tree until the weaver just gave up.
 
Now here's a lovely foursome. If you saw them together on a golf course you'd be glad that you had several clubs with which to defend yourself. The smiling gent on the left loses points because he's simply wearing a woman's sweater. Just because it's a man in drag does not make the sweater bad. And for the record, that sweater is god-awful. We're impressed with the vest showing Santa and the reindeer skating, but the winner in this group is second from the right. Some sweater maker somewhere wanted to cram as much stuff as possible into one scene, and this is the result. Even the teddy bear seems to know he looks stupid. And then someone said "Hey, you got a lot of blank space up here in the corner. Cram in a wreath and call it a day."

He has sounded off on everything from Britney Spears to swine flu

Did you know that Bad Sweater Guy is huge in Canada? No, it's true. And not just in Winnipeg either.
MTV Live (that's sort of the Canadian equivalent of TRL for you Americans) has had Bad Sweater Guy as a Hot Topic guest twice now. He has sounded off on everything from Britney Spears to swine flu. It's sort of a McLaughlin Group for the E! Online crowd.
So with the sudden surge of popularity up north, we expect to see a flood of photos of Canadians in bad sweaters arriving in our mailbox very soon. C'mon, Canadians. I know you have one or two bad sweaters hidden away somewhere.

Many people think that Bad Sweater Guy collects Bad Sweaters

Many people think that Bad Sweater Guy collects Bad Sweaters. Not so! All of the Bad Sweaters in my collection were ones I actually wore back in the 1980s and 1990s. I dress better now.
But! Recently I dug through my photo archives and found this spectacularly rare item. It's me with one of my most iconic sweaters -- brand new. Look: The tags are even still on. And check out how happy I look.
At this moment in time Icould have chosen to cast aside this cardigan nightmare. But no. I embraced it fully. And now the rest of the world benefits from my foresight. And pack-rat tendencies.
Whatever. I declare the 2009 Bad Sweater season open. Order my movie and send me photos of your own Bad Sweaters.

My recent excavation through my old photos turned up another gem

My recent excavation through my old photos turned up another gem. This one's from mid-February 1992. That's me, Bad Sweater Guy, there in the middle, chatting up then-Gov. Bill Clinton of Arkansas. I had traveled to New Hampshire with a group of Northwestern University students who were canvassing on Clinton's behalf. I covered their exploits for The Daily Northwestern.
Note that I’m actually wearing one of my signature Bad Sweaters, and the governor seems unfazed. Do Bad Sweaters really have any affect on politics? After meeting me and my Bad Sweater, Clinton went on to a surprising second-place finish in the Democratic primary. Flash forward to 2008, when Sen. John McCain lashed out at his advisers for making him wear “gay sweaters."
Clinton? Sweater tolerant. Two-term president. McCain? Sweater intolerant. Not president.
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